| Azure Lightning (Reboot) Ready to Review | |
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Rainbow Dash Mane Moderator Rainbow Dash
Posts : 185 Coins : 420 Join date : 2013-02-03 Age : 28
| Subject: Azure Lightning (Reboot) Ready to Review Fri Jun 21, 2013 4:08 am | |
| Name: Azure Lightning Age: 18 Gender: Stallion Race: Pegasus Location: He is currently on a quest to find who he really is so no place yet. Talent/Profession:Azure talent is being Brave, helping his friends, and being fast. He excel in Flying, helping, also being stubborn as well. Cutie Mark (only for ponies):Azure got his Cutie Mark when he was almost done with school he was afraid of flying around because he never knew how to at the time. One sunny day he was walking around Trottingham with two of his friends when one of his friends had an idea to go explore out of Trottingham. As they were exploring they got to a steep drop that you cannot see the bottom Azure was a little afraid so he stepped back a little not wanting to fall in as his friend stepped closer he slipped and was hanging on to the edge as his other friend goes and grabs his friend as soon as he was going to help they both fell off the edge. Azure was scared he had no idea what to do he looked down and was afraid he then ignored his fear and jumped and spread his wings and started to fall he did not want anything to happen to his friends so he started to flap his wings he started to go faster and faster and tears started to to come out he was afraid to lose his friends next thing he knew he saw a Flash and heard a Bang he was fast as he grabbed his friends and brought them back to edge and sat them down. He then was trying to catch his breath he looked behind him and saw something on his flank his Cutie Mark was there a orange crystal heat with two bolts on it he was amazed of how it was and was glad he got it. Powers: Flying and his Flash Bang Physical Description: Personality: Azure is not quite comfortable being around new ponies he never meet yet, but he is a nice Stallion when you get to know him but an idiot at points and he can't keep his flank from any danger. He seems to himself into more danger because he does not think things through and always tries to keep promises he can't keep. Azure really fears Timber Wolves and him flying sort of. He does not like it when his friends get hurt, when he gets woken up from his nap, or when other ponies start telling him what to do. History:Azure is a Pegasus who grew up in Trottingham his whole life never went anywhere else besides Canterlot to visit his dad. He never got to know his father because he was a royal guard in Canterlot and he grew up with his mom. Azure had a few friends when he was a colt but he was bullied a little as well because he was an Pegasus and his mom was a Unicorn but Azure tried to ignore it. Azure wanted to move to Canterlot or Ponyville as a colt so he won't be bullied and made fun off, but his mom did not have enough bits to move there which made Azure mad. A few years later Azure’s mom got a letter saying his dad had passed away this made Azure mad because he never knew his dad. Azure’s mom is a Unicorn and his dad is a Pegasus and they both love him but his dad had to get back on duty at Canterlot so he never got to see his own son. His mom is a caring Unicorn who helps Azure with some problems and takes good care of him as well like a good mother does. Azure is now a stallion who works at an apple farm for bits but he got news that his mom passed away from sickness and once he heard of that he felt like his soul was broken hearing that news and he wish he never heard about it. A few weeks went by after his mom passed away he had no reason to stay there anymore he wanted to leave as quickly as he can. After he got the bits to leave for Canterlot or Ponyville he got a ticket for next week to leave Trottingham which gives him time to pack and say goodbye to the apple family member who hired him. During that week he got amnesia only remembering who he is and wondered why he had a train ticket. Azure got amnesia 4 days after his mom died being stubborn and reckless flying in the forest. When he was flying he was thinking about his mom and thinking about how he could not do anything to save her so he started blaming everything on himself not paying attention he started to go faster in speed. As he grew faster in speed more memories of him and his mom were still going through his mind he then went straight up in the air and passed the clouds he was gonna do a Flash Bang just to clear his mind about what happened to his mom. He dove straight down gaining speed every second he is going down as he was about to do his Flash Bang he then blacked out crasing into the ground leaving a crater where he landed. When Azure woke up after a few hours he had no clue what happened or where he was, the only thing he knew was his name he was trying to find out what he did last but nothing came up on what happened he then checked to see what he had on him only thing was a train ticket to Ponyville he then went to the train station to get on the train to Ponyville hoping somepony knows him there. Other:
Last edited by Wubz on Thu Jul 04, 2013 3:08 am; edited 7 times in total |
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Mi Amora Cadenza Mane Role Play & Graphics Admin Mi Amora Cadenza
Title : Hollywood Pirate Queen In Space!! Posts : 1181 Coins : 510 Join date : 2012-09-12 Age : 38 Location : lost in the labyrinth
| Subject: Re: Azure Lightning (Reboot) Ready to Review Fri Jun 21, 2013 4:33 pm | |
| ok first the color needs to be changed so I can read it. Please put something in the title when this is ready for review. |
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Rainbow Dash Mane Moderator Rainbow Dash
Posts : 185 Coins : 420 Join date : 2013-02-03 Age : 28
| Subject: Re: Azure Lightning (Reboot) Ready to Review Fri Jun 21, 2013 5:38 pm | |
| Yeah sorry the copy and paste did not work as planed |
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mysteryloveandjustice Dragon Senior Member
Posts : 174 Coins : 330 Join date : 2013-04-19 Age : 30 Location : Flying high above Ponyville!
| Subject: Re: Azure Lightning (Reboot) Ready to Review Sun Jun 23, 2013 5:35 pm | |
| Please put "ready for review" when Azure is done! ^^ |
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Rainbow Dash Mane Moderator Rainbow Dash
Posts : 185 Coins : 420 Join date : 2013-02-03 Age : 28
| Subject: Re: Azure Lightning (Reboot) Ready to Review Sun Jun 23, 2013 5:59 pm | |
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Mi Amora Cadenza Mane Role Play & Graphics Admin Mi Amora Cadenza
Title : Hollywood Pirate Queen In Space!! Posts : 1181 Coins : 510 Join date : 2012-09-12 Age : 38 Location : lost in the labyrinth
| Subject: Re: Azure Lightning (Reboot) Ready to Review Sun Jun 23, 2013 8:41 pm | |
| Ok Wubz I need you to re write the personality and make it coherent for me. I can't follow that at all. Ok and his history, we don't need to know that he's on a train in the profile, that's something for the role play. I think you need to re write the his to too, it doesn't make sense you bounce around. |
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Rainbow Dash Mane Moderator Rainbow Dash
Posts : 185 Coins : 420 Join date : 2013-02-03 Age : 28
| Subject: Re: Azure Lightning (Reboot) Ready to Review Sun Jun 23, 2013 8:46 pm | |
| Gotcha like I said I out do myself when I get an idea. |
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mysteryloveandjustice Dragon Senior Member
Posts : 174 Coins : 330 Join date : 2013-04-19 Age : 30 Location : Flying high above Ponyville!
| Subject: Re: Azure Lightning (Reboot) Ready to Review Sun Jun 23, 2013 8:55 pm | |
| Im gonna jump in and say you need to redo the Powers section and fill it out correctly. Yes flying is a power.
Plus I'd like you to expand on the amnesia thing. It was kinda randomly thrown in at the end and no detail were given so id like you to tell us how he got it, what he remembers, stuff like that.
Thanks Wubz! |
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Rainbow Dash Mane Moderator Rainbow Dash
Posts : 185 Coins : 420 Join date : 2013-02-03 Age : 28
| Subject: Re: Azure Lightning (Reboot) Ready to Review Tue Jun 25, 2013 3:39 am | |
| Well I fixed a bit of it I am still thinking of how he got amnesia. |
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mysteryloveandjustice Dragon Senior Member
Posts : 174 Coins : 330 Join date : 2013-04-19 Age : 30 Location : Flying high above Ponyville!
| Subject: Re: Azure Lightning (Reboot) Ready to Review Tue Jun 25, 2013 12:07 pm | |
| If your still trying to figure out the details of his amnesia then I suggest you take the "ready to review" off your title. That way when you feel your done with him and you have his back story completed, we know when your ready to have him reviewed again ^^
And if you need any help with developing his story or filling in some plot holes then don't be afraid to ask me or Celestia for help! It's what were here for ;) |
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Rainbow Dash Mane Moderator Rainbow Dash
Posts : 185 Coins : 420 Join date : 2013-02-03 Age : 28
| Subject: Re: Azure Lightning (Reboot) Ready to Review Thu Jul 04, 2013 3:09 am | |
| It is Ready now I did my best to edit some of it. |
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mysteryloveandjustice Dragon Senior Member
Posts : 174 Coins : 330 Join date : 2013-04-19 Age : 30 Location : Flying high above Ponyville!
| Subject: Re: Azure Lightning (Reboot) Ready to Review Thu Jul 04, 2013 9:48 pm | |
| Looks much better! Thank you for expanding on thing this gives us a much better look into his character ^^
APPROVED! |
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| Subject: Re: Azure Lightning (Reboot) Ready to Review | |
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| Azure Lightning (Reboot) Ready to Review | |
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